“You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you understand my thought from afar.” -Psalm 139:2
September 3, 2023
There will be times when we will sense a disconnection from the presence of the Lord. A state of detachment that will cause us to question all that truly matters to us. We will wonder where God is in our lives, and how we ourselves fit into the great scheme of life. Our dreams and visions of the future may fade before us. How will we endure? What will cause us to continue and carry on?
The Apostle Thomas must have felt this way after the crucifixion of the Lord (John 20:19-29). The expectations he must have had of what lay before him regarding the potential opportunities in the Kingdom of God must have been noble. He walked with the Greatest Man to have ever walked the face of the earth. Now that Man was dead, all hope was lost; death is final and everything that he had to look forward to was buried with Him.
When the Resurrection occurred, all the remaining disciples were ecstatic and could not contain the joy of seeing the Risen One when He visited them when they were alone together in the upper room. Thomas was not present to witness the event, and a cloud of skepticism began to hover over his already depressed and defeated soul as he heard of that which had taken place. How much more excluded could he have felt at the moment? Doubts flooded the very core of his being, causing him to now experience a deeper sense of isolation.
Thomas seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and was not able to restrain the displeasure he felt as his fellow believers conversed about what had just transpired: ‘But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples were saying to him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe’ (John 20:24-25). Where or to whom could he turn to? He must now face the turbulent storm raging deep within alone; Jesus was nowhere in sight to calm the restlessness he now faced. And now he must endure the delusions and foolish talk of his brethren? What had they been drawn into? How much more desperate could a situation become?
All the same, even if our own disappointments and invariable states of sorrow should cause us to fail to notice something wonderful that the Lord is attempting to accomplish in our lives, they will not cause Him to leave us out of the work that He is actively engaged in. When Thomas was understandably overwhelmed and confused, it was at this point that Jesus appeared to Him and addressed him personally: “After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been shut and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach here with your finger, and see my hands; and reach here your hand and put it into my side; and do not be unbelieving but believing” (John 20:25-26). God will single us out with great adoration and empathy, revealing Himself to us in ways we could never expect otherwise, taking the time to meet with us and care for us individually.
Jesus disclosed to a bemused and despairing disciple that He had knowledge of and was also aware of the thoughts of his troubled heart. The Lord attended to his every concern, spoke directly to him with regards to his fears and doubts, and answered every single lingering question, while in the process of increasing his faith. His words began to have meaning and the future no longer appeared bleak. Jesus will also visit us in these rare and defining moments and we will then begin to see Him as Someone in whom we can rely and believe in, saying along with Thomas his own proclamation of faith that Jesus alone is, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28).
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